We ALL get invitations we don’t really want to accept. What do we do? Usually, it’s (1) say yes, then regret it later, or (2) ignore it, hoping it will go away, until our ignoring it actually becomes rude.
I used to have an inbox full of things I wanted to say no to but didn’t. After a while, enough was enough, and so I created 2 scripts that quickly became my go-to’s whenever I had to gently tell someone that I wasn’t interested.
The wrong way to decline an invitation
How many times this month have your friends (or even you!) said something like…
- “Sorry, something came up. I’ll catch you next time”
- “I don’t know if I can do that. I’m just so swamped at work, you know?”
- “I’m too busy to do that right now. I’ll get to it later”
All of us — CEOs, politicians, Ph.D. candidates, mothers of 2 — have the same 24 hours a day. It’s OK to recognize when “no time” is actually a blanket excuse for not doing something you don’t want to do.
When you find yourself saying any of the phrases above, stop and evaluate why.
Maybe it’s not a priority for you right now. Maybe you just really don’t want to do it. Both of these thoughts are perfectly fine. We’ll save everyone a lot of time and effort by recognizing (and acting on) what’s really going on.
The next time someone offers you an invitation, instead of saying “I don’t have time,” be honest with them and yourself.
…but you don’t have to take the same path as everyone else. How would it look if you designed a Rich Life on your own terms? Take our quiz and find out:
2 Scripts to politely decline and save hurt feelings
The truth is, people will understand when you decline an invitation politely and clearly. Try one of these word-for-word scripts for saying “no.”
Script 1: Declining a business proposal or random acquaintance
Hi NAME,
Thanks for this invitation. I’m flattered! Unfortunately, I’ve got my priorities set for the year and this just doesn’t fit in. Again, thanks for thinking of me.
-YOUR NAME
Script 2: Declining a friend/relative
Hi NAME,
That sounds really fun and interesting, but I’m going to pass so I can focus on a couple other things I really want to do [this week, this month, insert time frame here].
-YOUR NAME
These may be more straightforward than you’re used to… but that’s the point. You’ll be surprised at how well they are received. People will appreciate the honesty rather than waffling and dragging on the conversation.
They’re simple but compelling.
The danger in saying “yes” to invitations
People pleasing manifests in subtle ways. For example, how many times have you said, “Sure, I’ll do that…it can’t hurt.”
And two weeks later, you have to go to some dumb party/event you committed to, which you actually don’t want to go to, and you hate yourself. Oh well…“it can’t hurt, right?”
Actually, it can!! There’s nothing wrong with helping other people, but when you start saying “yes” to things that are distracting and drain you of energy, you can’t make the maximum impact on the world.
The magic that happens when you take back your time
You’ll be amazed at how it feels to clear out the cobwebs of obligations and start off fresh.
Learning how to politely decline an invitation will:
- Make others value your time and commitments
- Force you to be honest with yourself about what’s important
- Free up your mental energy to worry about things you actually care about
The best part?
Once you make the decision, you can live GUILT-FREE and use your energy to commit to things you’ll actually do.
Final Thoughts on How To Decline An Invitation
It’s perfectly fine to say no to an invitation. But when you do, it’s important to do so politely and professionally.
You can politely decline an invitation and still maintain a good relationship with the person who extended it. This will help you avoid awkward situations in the future and allow you to focus on attending events where you actually want to be present.
Remember, there’s no need to be rude or condescending when declining an invitation. You can always find some way to tactfully decline without hurting anyone’s feelings.
