Are you dreaming of getting into a top-tier university, like Stanford?
Years ago, I sent out a blockbuster 4,355-word email on tactics I’ve used to write a New York Times bestseller, get hundreds of thousands of readers, and get into Stanford, which got thousands of comments like:
@ramit not to be a suck up, but I can’t believe you just sent this past earn1k email for free. best. advice. ever. thank you.
@ramit No bs. That was the single best email you have ever sent. Nobody can say Ramit doesn’t add value.
And so on.
I call this model “The Failure Expectation” (updated for 2024), which will help you land a dream job, get into a top university or even meet your biggest role model.
You’ll discover the specific techniques that allowed me to leapfrog some of my peers and do ridiculous things like getting invited to speak on persuasion in Japan, getting written up in the WSJ at age 22, or even get a highly paid college/summer internship with one phone call.
(Also, this isn’t just about getting into Stanford. It’s about getting into any exclusive organization/university/job/whatever).
Why should you listen to me?
By 28, I wrote a blog that got 300,000 readers a month, an instant New York Times bestseller, and yes, I got into Stanford with over $100,000 in scholarships.
However…
I am not the smartest person. My friends got way better GPAs than I did. I am terrible at math (in fact, I was the only person in my high-school AP math class to fail my AP test…yes, I got a 2).
I also don’t come from a wealthy family. My parents are immigrants and we’re very middle class. I say this up front because some people tend to dismiss others who achieve cool things by saying, “Oh, mommy and daddy just bought them [whatever].” Yes, that’s true sometimes (especially here in Manhattan), but the people who lob that insult usually use it as a crutch for not doing interesting things themselves. Get a life.
So it’s possible to do all these amazing things no matter how old you are or how much money you have. But my unconventional approach will dramatically change how fast you achieve these things.
How I got into Stanford
Ok, so I went to a public high school in northern California. My friends and I joked that our class, the Class of 2000, was the most competitive… but also the least attractive. Seriously, all the hot people were one year above us or one year below us.
Anyway, we had a lot of smart people in my class. So when it was time to apply for college, lots of people were set on top-tier schools like Stanford, Harvard, Yale, etc. But then an amazing thing happened.
When the first round of college admissions came in, and some people got in and others didn’t, many of the people who didn’t get in changed their attitudes overnight, saying, “Whatever…I didn’t really want to go there anyway.” I found this really surprising, since I had planned to get rejected from my dream school, Stanford, anyway. (Most of my friends had a higher GPA than I did).
Since I had already assumed that I was going to get rejected, I’d already made plans for what I’d do to get in, despite their rejection. I was going to send them recent updates to my coursework, a few recent press clippings I’d done, and some updates on the business/job I was doing in high school. In short, getting a “no” was only the first step.
When I got in, it was an extremely pleasant surprise. But it was also incredibly interesting to watch the attitudes of some of my classmates — classmates who’d dreamed about attending a particular school — change overnight since they’d been rejected. They really took it personally.
For me, I knew that I was a number, and that when I got rejected, I’d simply need to convince them why I deserved to get in. I simply followed “The Failure Expectation” framework.
How to use “The Failure Expectation” framework to land a dream job, get into a top university, or meet your biggest role model
Here’s how you can use my Failure Expectation framework to overcome any challenge and achieve anything you want.
1. The Mindset Shift: Expect Failure, Plan for Success
The first “no” is where the discussion starts.
When aiming for a large goal — like a college application, new job, or new city — always visualize what would happen if you SUCCEED (e.g., get admitted) vs. what would happen if you FAIL (e.g., get rejected).
Do this before you get the results, which is an emotional time. I saw people throw away their dream school simply because they got rejected. Read that last sentence again.
Doesn’t it sound ridiculous? OF COURSE you give up when you get rejected.
Well, sometimes it’s true, and society certainly tells us to suck it up and move on. But when it’s some committee making a decision, you don’t have to let that fly. Plan ahead for what you’ll do if you succeed or fail — it will help you stay focused when times get tough.
2. Build a Unique Profile: Focus Beyond Grades
I realized that I couldn’t compete on just grades alone – since I’m not the smartest person, so I went horizontal and did a bunch of interesting things outside of class (and outside of school). I tried lots of things rapidly (clubs, sports, etc) – found out what I liked, and went deeper into them.
First of all, be REALLY GOOD at what you do. If you want to get into a top college or job, you can’t just be average. Why would a very selective institution want you? Ask yourself that and then do remarkable things.
Huh? Ramit? WTF does that mean? Being remarkable doesn’t always mean getting the best grades (I certainly didn’t). It can mean being remarkable at volunteering, or starting a side business repairing cars…or whatever interests you. THIS is why being remarkable is so hard — because I can’t simply tell you what to do. You have to decide for yourself. This is why most people, by definition, are not remarkable. It’s hard
3. Craft an Irresistible Application
Your application should tell a cohesive story, and it needs to stand out. Most people think that if they just do well in school or work, their application will speak for itself. That’s not enough.
In my view, the way you construct your application is hugely important in getting into a top college, getting a great job, etc. Compare this to people who believe, “If I just do great work, they’ll realize it.” No.
My applications had a THEME. I was the guy who wanted to do online business, and hey Mr. Application Reader, here’s what I’ve done to show you that I’m serious about this.
Luck plays a role. Expose yourself to luck. I have no qualms admitting that a lot of the reason I got into Stanford was luck. It could be a total tossup, or maybe the committee was feeling good, or whatever. However, don’t just count on luck — cultivate it for yourself. Give yourself every advantage.
4. Ask for Help and Don’t Pay for it
One of the key things that set me apart was my willingness to ask for help—from friends, peers, and people who’d already been accepted to my dream schools. And I didn’t pay for any of it. If I’d had more money, I would have, but I didn’t. What you realize is that most people will help you out for free.
Ask at least 10 other people to review your application. Ask them to be brutally honest. AND MEAN IT. If you ever get defensive about their feedback, I will personally find you and hit you on the head with a metal bat.
I asked a ton of people to review my application. I can’t emphasize this enough. I told you how I was horrible at math in high school. Well, I was a pretty good writer. So it surprised me that more people didn’t ask me to review their applications, because I got TONS of outside help.
“Hey Mike, what do you think about this essay idea?”, “Michelle, what’s more compelling?” Etcetera. So many people lock themselves in their room and come up with an essay topic that’s trite, vapid, and boring. The simple action of asking someone if your idea is compelling forces you to say it out loud — which eliminates at least 25% of bad essay ideas.
Write at least 5 versions of your essay. I did something like 42 versions. Are you prepared to work that hard?
And lastly, NEVER do the committee’s job for you. It is THEIR job to reject you, not yours. What the hell is wrong with people when they say, “Ehh…I’m not going to apply to [college/job]…I could never get in.” Guess what? You just proved yourself right. It’s not your job to reject/accept you, it’s someone else’s. Let them do their job.
5. Don’t Let Money Hold You Back
Don’t let money get in the way. People are incredibly clueless about finances when it comes to college. First, people will delusionally say, “I’m not going to apply to [expensive college]…I could never afford it.” If you’re good enough to get in, they will take care of you. LET ME REPEAT THAT. Never let money decide where you are going to apply.
STOP USING MONEY AS AN EXCUSE. A lot of people will say, “Ramit, what about the application fee? It can be really expensive. You’re out of touch with your (book/fancy website/NY & SF apartments/blah blah blah).” Hey whiner. When I was applying, I had no money.
Some of the applications can be really expensive. You know what I did? I put a note in there that said, Look I can’t really afford this application fee. If you really need the $50 for the fee, just please let me know and I will find a way to send it. But if not, I hope you can waive the fee for me.” I never heard a peep from them.
Ask people who have GONE to your dream schools how they like it. Oh yeah, one more thing…ASK THEM HOW THEY GOT IN. They should be reviewing your application and offering you feedback every step of the way.
And yes, you know people there…if you don’t, call the university admissions office and ask to get connected to some students. Everybody loves seniors in high schools who are applying to college because they are so weird/desperate/naive. Everybody helps them. Use this to your advantage.
So Now What? Take Action and Embrace Rejection
So what are you going to do now?
Are you going to feel inspired for the next 10 minutes and then forget all about it?
You can use this framework to achieve ANYTHING great, whether it’s landing your dream job, getting into a top university school, or even networking with your biggest role model.
If you want to ACTUALLY achieve something great, treat rejection as a normal step in the process. Expect it. Manage it. Take action and the next time you get shot down, remember that means you’re just getting started.
